Is the caveman approach necessary?

Some women are turned on by the idea (if not the reality) of being forcibly submitted to a spanking.

A typical scenario would be for the man to say he’s going to spank her, and for her to take flight. He would then chase her, catch her with absolute inevitability, and subdue her while she was still struggling to get away.

Given that a lot of men are intrinsically lazy, this very physical way of achieving dominance over a woman isn’t always ideal. It might have to be done a couple of times at the beginning so that the woman is afraid of a repeat, but there are some less energetic ways for a man to exercise his authority.

Fear is a good one – fear of things being made worse if obedience isn’t immediate and total. It might be fear of increased pain or fear of the spanking being made public, for example. It could be deer-caught-in-the-headlights freezing fear.

Another good tool is a man’s voice, booming and vibrating like drums and thunder. It can bring with it old associations in the woman’s mind, or newer associations because of the history between the couple. If a man can get his woman to obey him or present herself for punishment all through his voice, then he can stay in his armchair.

There’s no effort required at all when a woman accepts the procedure for punishment in her relationship, as in some domestic discipline and also mentoring arrangements. It doesn’t mean to say that she wants her spanking, or even necessarily that she’s afraid of the consequences of trying to avoid it, but she’s complying with the right order of things.

Best of all is when a man has commanded such respect from a woman that even without a system in place she trusts his directive to submit herself for punishment because she knows he’s just. In such a case she will need to have seen him be merciful as well as harsh.

In my latest medieval-style novel ‘His word is law’, I tried to create such a male character. In one scene he chases his bride on horseback, catches her and whips her over the saddle of his horse on the ground. He subsequently imprisons her, and spanks her again harshly. But although she accepts it, it’s not this sort of treatment which ultimately gains her compliance. It’s the fact that he gifts her with an atypical, un-male piece of understanding. I won’t say what he does for her because it would spoil the story, but suffice it to say that I wish I knew this character!