Obedience – doing what you’re told – is vital in contexts like the military, or religious communities. You can’t have individuals rocking the boat. But what of a woman who chooses in her wedding ceremony to obey her husband?

Is he always going to be right? Isn’t she even going to think about whether he’s right or not?

I don’t think that’s what it’s really about. I know that if I made that vow I’d experience a real ‘frisson’ when I said it. I’ve even felt the ‘frisson’ when I’ve heard other women utter it.

There’s something very exciting about the idea of a man having moral strength which can translate to physical strength in a relationship. A woman who vows to obey her husband is acknowledging her sexuality rather than abnegating her right to an opinion. Or at least that’s my opinion.

I have two relationships where I supposedly obey. One is with my partner, whose disciplining of me is often erotic in nature. I think he sometimes finds it difficult to keep a straight face, as it were.

The other is with my mentor, who is deadly serious. I’m thinking about him because it’s that time of the week again. I think he missed his vocation in the Spanish Inquisition. When he’s got it all out of me, it never occurs to me not to obey him. I hate pulling down my pants and putting myself over his knee for a sound spanking, but I do it.

Perhaps it’s because there’s no question of us being equals.